Testimonials

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"Our storytelling"

#1

I joined Scars into Stars to help bring services to those who are victims of domestic violence. My journey with domestic violence started years ago and thankful is over.

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I remember it started off great! I was in love, and everything was great! However, there were several red flags one being that he was homeless and no one in his family would let him stay with them. They way he spoke about his family and what he referred to them as was another red flag. Those red flags began to intensify when his insecurities started to show. He was very verbal abusive but apologetic the next. He would talk about some of his violent past with a grin on his face towards men. But I thought to myself that he would never cause me harm. That I can show him love better than the rest of his family, friends and past partners.

However, his insecurities became too much, and I decided to end the relationship. He called me n***a lover (he is white) accusing me of cheating on him and spat at me as he storms out of the car.

That’s when the threats started and the massive nonstop calling and texts. Telling me one minute he loved me and the next that he wanted to harm me. I blocked him and he started to send me emails. More threats and more apologies.

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I sought a restraining order and come to find out it was not the first for him. The judge pulled me aside at the bench and show me a stack of charges that dated back to my ex’s youth. Violent charges and many restraining orders. She warned to stay away from him, and the restraining order was granted. I had to go to court many times to get a lifetime restraining order.

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I’m blessed and lucky to have brothers that protected me. I blessed that he never caused me physical harm like he did with the others. I’m happy that a restraining order work and that he was locked away for a few months for violating his probation. I know for some restraining order doesn’t work.

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During my time as a board member, I hope that my efforts will bring forward services for those who need it the most. I hope that women, children and men who are in abusive relationships will find Scars into Stars as their outlet from these harmful relationships.

I join Scars into Stars to help bring change and services to those who need it. May we all feel the power of true love for ourselves and those who we love. Peace and comfort. Strive to find your peace."

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Best,

Anonymous

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#2

 I first experienced domestic violence at 16, impacting my life both negatively and positively. It projected fear and anxiety, making even comfortable places feel unsafe, replacing happy memories with flashbacks. This experience taught me to be guarded in trust but not overly so. I second-guess decisions and worry about "what ifs."

 

Positively, it made me self-aware, allowing self-love. I learned to take my life seriously and prioritize happiness. Not everyone is deserving of your love, and some are best loved from a distance. Facing it made me realize I can fight back, leave, and find peace and stability.

 

My friends and family supported me. Leaving was tough due to guilt and a fear of not finding someone to fight for me. Stability as a single mom was challenging. Support agencies focus on recognizing trauma, not moving forward. Leaving is the solution, but it's harder than it sounds.

 

Survivors urgently need housing, financial support, and counseling. Recognizing survivors as part of a solution is crucial, not just acknowledging their past. We should be the complete solution, not part of the problem.

 

Limiting yourself to the bad is unfair; know your value. Remember it during challenges and keep your head up.  domestic violence impacts everyone around you. Drastic changes needed include program availability, quicker results, and less victim-blaming within the systemwide services providers.

 

I am Currently in a good space; I take it day by day. Healing is healthy, and I embrace it within myself now.

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Thank You,

BB